International Asses
by ZheAwezomeMe
Summary: About... Idk... really... Its about some of the countrys, are idiots for you/male!reader Yesh yesh its HetaliaxMALE!Reader.


Guten Tag my awezome readerz~! this is a male!readerxcountry fanfic! If you are a girl just put your male self instead~! Da, so please enjoy! ^^ Paka!

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"Dude, what are you looking at?" my bestfriend Alfred ask me. I snap out of my thoughts and look at him.

"Ivan." i reply. His expression changes to shock.

"Why were you looking at the commie?!" he yells at me.

"He gives me the creeps." i reply honestly. He puts a hand on my shoulder and says,

"Dude, _, I know how you feel." i laugh and push his hand off of me. Ivan was the new Russian kid. He was popular with the girls, and feared by most of the guys.. And -cough- Teachers -cough-. Alfred really hated Ivan, he never really talked to him, he just hates him, because he is a 'commie'. I am one of the guys that fear him. He just gives me the creeps, and i seen him staring at me. Yeah, he is on the top of my 'Stay Away From' list. Alfred said if i ever need help to beat up the 'commie', he will be there for me. I don't really want to hurt anyone, i mean, i'm not that kind of guy. Oh god, here comes Alfred's and my fangirl group.

"_! Alfred! Are you doing anything tonight? We are having a party~! we are inviting Ivan!" One of the fangirls say. Ivan? Is going? I was about to say no, but Alfred beat me to it.

"Hell no. I mean.. We both have plans, right dude?" he says as he puts an arm around my shoulder. I sigh and facepalm,

"Yeah. I need to help my dad build some houses." i say. It was true, my dad and I help out with making houses for people in need.

"Well, okay... Bye guys~!" the fangirl group says as they skip away. I push Alfred's arm off and stand up.

"Dude. I am just gonna take a piss. Don't follow me." i say to Alfred. Alfred had a habit of stalking me everywhere i go. Sure were best friends... But thats creepy. He just nods looking like a kicked puppy, those don't work on me. I thought they only worked on girls, but Alfred's cousin, Arthur proved that wrong. Anyways, on my way to the bathroom i felt like i was being followed. Every 15 steps i would check behind me. I guess the person who was following me knew, so they always hid. I tricked them and turned on my 5th step. Turns out it was the BTT. God, the fuck do they want?!

"Dudes. Why are you fucking stalking me?!" i ask them. They flinch at the question, and look at each other.

"Oh, guten tag _... You look ho- i mean nice today..." Gilbert (Yes the BTT are still male in this.. And that they are stalking you) compliments. I facepalm and then rub my temples out of stress.

"Guys, why are you stalking me?" i ask once more. They open their mouths but shut them and run off, each laughing their special laugh.

"Kesesesese~!",

"Fusosososo~!", and

"Ohonononon~!".

God, i am surrounded by stalkers and idiots. I finally made it to the bathroom. After i took a piss i washed my hands (you are one of those clean freaks) and went back to the cafeteria, to Alfred and the other dudes. Oh great, a giant group of girls in the way. I push through, shoving off hands and arms, trying to pull me back in. I made it out of the crowd and ran to the cafeteria door. I was about to enter, but something pulled me back into the crowd.

"GOD DAMNIT GET THE FUCK OFF." i demanded. The answer i got was 'Nyet'. I think that was Russian. Russian? Ivan. Awww shit. I was pulled into the center of the crowd and into a large firm chest. I push myself off and look at who it was. It was Ivan..Out of all the people in this school, it just had to be the person i feared the most. He looks down at me and smiles. I shutter at the smile, and how i could see lust in his eyes. Great, it this guy gay?! (AN: i have nothing against yaoi and gays and such i actually support it) He bends down and kisses me. On the fucking lips. I push him off and wipe my lips with my sleeve. That was my first kiss. And it was with a guy! A GUY!

"What the fuck was that for?!"i yell at him. He smiles once more and says,

"For the fans, da?" i look around to see all the girls holding cameras and phones up. If i was in an anime or cartoon i would have steam coming out of me. I glare at all the girls and stomp to the cafeteria. I sit down between Alfred and Yao. I put my arms on the table, and i lay my head in between them.

"_, whats wrong dude?" Alfred ask me putting a hand on my arm. I swat it away and sigh.

"_, what is wrong, aru." Yao ask bluntly demanding for an answer. I sigh and put my head up to look at the two.

"I just had my first kiss." i tell them.

"WITH WHO (aru)?!" they both yell. I look down and answer,

"I-Ivan..." they look at me shocked and angry.

"What? _, how could you?!" Alfred ask in anger.

"I didn't w-want to! He, he forced m-me!" i stutter. Alfred and Yao shoot up from their spots and stomp out of the cafeteria, probably to Ivan. This school is full of international asses.

* * *

YAAY IDEK WHAT I JUST WROTE. I WROTE IT IN A CAR, FOR FIVE MINUTES. AND THOSE FIVE MINUTES I WAS SURROUNDED BY ANNOYING LITTLE KIDS. HOW THE HERR DID I MANGE TO WRITE THIS?!


End file.
